10. I use turn signals religiously. One of my pet peeves is when I am a passenger and “someone” wants to change lanes, but doesn’t signal—especially if said “someone” proceeds to become irritated at the other drivers because they didn’t read his mind, deduce his lane-changing desire, and let him in.
9. I am one of the few people alive who can, even with the best of intentions, manage to kill a mature Aloe Vera plant. And I’ve proven it more than once. (Sorry, Grandpa.)
8. In second grade, I actually had to have someone teach me how to draw a stick person. My artistic abilities do not extend to “art.”
7. I sometimes refer to small yapper dogs as “Aww, look at the sweet little kitty” when walking my (bigger) dog, Albus.
6. I am so accident prone that I once sliced my finger open . . . with a spoon. (And they said it couldn’t be done!)
5. On long family road trips, I almost always volunteer to drive because:
A. We get there faster
B. I tend to get motion sickness when I’m a passenger, and
C. (see number 10, above)
4. I am ridiculously horrible at anything “math.” I blame my parents. Clearly, all those “I’m going to count to three and you’d better (fill in the blank)” when I was being naughty must have instilled within me an inherent fear of numbers.
3. I know all the words to “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy,” but I can only sing the alto part.
2. I was once thrown through a wall by a treadmill. I now refer to that infernal fitness device as “Satan’s Beltsander” due to the scars I now have on my legs from my inability to escape in a timely manner.
1. My favorite suffix to use in casual conversation is “-tacular” Example: In the summer, I like to paint my toenails a dark Smurftacular blue.
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